It’s the 21st century, so why is female orgasm still shrouded in mystery and disfigured by hearsay? Here at Emjoy we believe that something as fundamental as your pleasure shouldn’t be a misunderstood or taboo topic. So let’s separate fact from fiction by busting 5 common myths about female orgasm.
1. Women should be able to orgasm from penetration alone
Let’s bust this myth once and for all. While Hollywood might make it look like 5 minutes of penetrative sex is all it takes for women to experience earth-shattering orgasms, it’s estimated that around 75% of women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Yes, you read that right, the majority of women can’t reach orgasm from penetration alone!
And don’t worry guys, this has nothing to do with how good the sex is, or the size of your penis. It’s just anatomy. For the majority of women it’s normal not to climax only from penetration.
Having said that, while the vast majority of women don’t orgasm just from penetration, that doesn’t mean you can’t cum during intercourse. Rubbing your clit or using a vibrator to stimulate it during penetrative sex can help you to climax. These slight modifications can really be a game changer when it comes to enjoying those sweet, sweet orgasms during intercourse.
2. Women need clitoral stimulation to cum
The clitoris is often considered the holy grail of female orgasm. And it’s easy to see why. With over 8,000 nerve endings concentrated in a small area and its only job description pleasure, the clit packs a mighty punch when it comes to female orgasm.
But it’s not the only route to orgasm. Women can experience orgasms by stimulating other areas, like parts of the vagina, the anus and nipples. Yes, a nipplegasm is a realy thing. It’s also possible to experience blended orgasms when multiple areas are stimulated at the same time.
Each body is different and every woman will experience orgasms in different ways. So don’t just limit yourself to one way of cumming. Experiment, explore your body and discover all the marvelous ways you can experience pleasure and orgasm.
3. Female orgasm is harder to achieve than male orgasm
If you know anything about the orgasm gap, you’ll know that heterosexual men experience orgasm way more often than heterosexual women. According to a 2017 study that’s 95% of the time for men and 65% for women! So it’s not surprising if you assume female orgasm is harder to achieve. But here’s the thing, it isn’t.
The same study showed that lesbian women came 86% of the time and on average women reach orgasm within 8 minutes when masturbating. So clearly, there is no physiological reason for female orgasm to be more elusive.
Instead, it’s more likely that our society’s coitocentric focus on penetrative sex and general lack of quality sex education leaves many men and women in the dark about how to achieve female orgasm. And as we saw above, it’s not usually related to penetration.
So learn more about the female anatomy, educate yourself and your partner, discover your body and what gives you pleasure, communicate that to your partner and let’s dispel the self-fulfilling prophecy that female orgasm is harder to achieve once and for all.
To get started, we recommend listening to Discover Your Body audio collections on the Emjoy app. They cover everything from getting to know your erogenous zones to sexy masturbation techniques.
4. Using sex toys to orgasm is bad for you
Let’s get the record straight once and for all: sex toys are not “bad” for you. In fact, they're a fun and healthy way to spice up your sex life and even increase your libido. For many people they also offer a faster and more reliable route to orgasm.
The only “problem” is that you can sometimes get stuck in a sexual rut and with them. But this can happen with any aspect of a person’s sexual life: you might always use the same sex position or technique to cum because you know you’ll reach orgasm that way. This isn’t necessarily a problem, unless you feel bored of it, in which case we encourage you to experiment with different ways to cum. And trust us, there are plenty! You may even enjoy something else more than what you’re doing now.
“But don’t sex toys like vibrators desensitise you?”. Well, you might feel a little desensitized immediately after using a toy, but this is only temporary. Just let the area rest and your sensation will return to normal. Don’t believe us? A study by the University of Indiana showed that 70% of the female participants didn't experience any negative effect on their health or their sex life from using vibrators. The remaining 30% reported having some infections or minor pain caused by not cleaning their toy well, but in no case did correct vibrator use result in loss of sensitivity. So whether you have two, four or six orgasms in a row with your vibrator, you can rest assured it’s totally safe. As long as you clean it! Please clean your vibrator properly.
5. It's your partner's fault if you're not orgasming
As tempting as it may be to pin a lack of orgasm on your partner, the truth is that you’re in control of your pleasure. Nobody knows your body and what turns you on as well as you do, so find out what it is that has you seeing stars and communicate that to your partner. While that can be daunting at first, especially if you’re not used to it, this is a skill that can be improved with practice. And trust us, both you and your partner will reap massive rewards.
Enjoy more orgasms with Emjoy
If you’d like to have better and more frequent orgasms, Emjoy has a ton of audio content to help you enjoy more pleasure. Get started with the following collections and check out what else we have to offer you on the Emjoy app.