When summer comes to an end and we go back to the hustle and bustle, it can be a real mood killer in the bedroom. Human beings are, by nature, creatures of habit. So when life gets busy, it’s easy to fall into certain routines, sexual or otherwise, and it can be hard to break them.
But, did you know that when it comes to sex and sexual stimulation, we’re actually the total opposite? Humans are wired for novelty in the bedroom. So when we find ourselves having sex with the same person, in the same way, every time, the novelty wears off pretty fast.
Don’t worry, there are ways to stop this from happening. Here are three ways you can add excitement to your sex life that don’t require memorizing the Kama Sutra or literally bending over backwards (unless that’s what gets you going).
Make time for your partner
This one seems pretty obvious, but when life gets in the way, we don’t make time to prioritize the relationship (... and sex? What’s that?). When our workload piles up, or social commitments arise, and the precious time we have for ourselves dwindles, it’s not easy to find the time. But, it’s not impossible!
Think about your week. Do you consider intimate time with your partner a priority compared to other commitments you make? You might go to the gym three times a week, or only reserve takeout for weekends. You make these commitments, but leave out the most fun one!
Think about your routine and add date night to your to-do list. And hey, you could get a pretty good, sweaty workout together, if you know what I’m saying.
Talk about your fantasies together
Almost everyone has sexual fantasies, and has them frequently, but developing sexual fantasies has nothing to do with sexual dissatisfaction. Actually, it’s the opposite.
However, many of us have never shared these fantasies with our partners, let alone acted on them. It’s up to you if you want to communicate your fantasies or not. Some are private, and this is normal and healthy. Take some time to clarify if you want to keep a fantasy private or if it’s something you would like to try.
Here’s a tip: fantasize about sexual experiences you have, or haven’t had, and picture what you like. Is this something you want to make come true with your partner? If yes, talk about those fantasies with them. Before you know it you’ll be excited to act them out, and you’ll have worked on your communication skills at the same time.
Forbid an activity you always fall back on
We know what you’re thinking, but hear us out. Routine sex tends to start and end the same way. You know what you like, and what your partner likes, and vice versa. While these tried and tested techniques usually result in climax, it’s not necessarily stimulating for the mind if you know what’s coming and how (pun intended).
To help you break these habits and try new things, new sensations, try playing a game with your partner: think of an activity that you regularly do in the bedroom and forbid it for at least two weeks.
You and your partner should choose together, it needs to be something you’ll both miss. For example, if you practice a lot of oral sex, it’s not allowed for two weeks. Or maybe you always have sex in bed, at the end of the day. Instead, try to find another time (or place!) to have sex.
Emjoy collections for breaking routines
So, there you have it: three tips for breaking sexual routines and habits when life gets in the way and kills the mood. If you’re looking for more ways to break bedroom routines, try the Arouse Your Mind and Partner Play collections on Emjoy! Download the app and rediscover passion and pleasure.